Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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