plz talk dirty to me
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
