I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
