i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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