Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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