I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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