my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize