well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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