I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you have to choose: penises or morals?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
