During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Of course I have a pirate flag
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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