I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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