Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize