I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
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