ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
