every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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