Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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