did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
