Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
