when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize