Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
