His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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