Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
