i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
