At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
