he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
