Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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