I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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