my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
