and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
