pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I smell like Dick and happiness
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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