Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
