So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
