I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
this boner is exhausting
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
