turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize