this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize