careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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