I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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