Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize