My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
