No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
