Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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