Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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