And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
