I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
