Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You pole danced in your parka.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize