I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he puts the penis in happiness.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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