Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
