I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
