so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
