Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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