We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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