like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
