Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
