And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I need moral support for this bender
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
