The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
