you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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