FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
