she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she peed on how many people?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
