What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
