pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
