I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
