We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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