marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
