Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
