somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
