I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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