I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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