no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
