I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
